Most of us, I am sure have had someone a family member or a friend say or do things to hurt us. And that is never ever okay. Everyone has the right to feel safe physically and emotionally also. So today I am going to talk to you about setting boundaries with people in your life.
A boundary is a real or imagined limit that defines what is acceptable, safe, or responsible for an individual or entity.
- Physical Boundaries: Protect personal space, physical touch, bodily autonomy, and material property.
- Time and Energy Boundaries: Manage your availability, commitments, and how much of your personal energy you give to others.
- Emotional and Intellectual Boundaries: Protect your emotional well-being, privacy, beliefs, and opinions from being manipulated or disrespected.
How boundaries function
Personal Rules: According to guidelines from Psychology Today, setting a boundary is about knowing what you want and need, and communicating those ground rules.
Control vs. Action: Many mental health definitions note that a boundary dictates your own response or behavior when a limit is crossed ( such as leaving a room or ending a conversation) rather than attempting to force another person to change.
Spectrum of Boundaries: Boundaries generally fall into three styles:
Rigid – Unyielding and closed, which creates emotional distance or isolation.
Porous – Weak or poorly defined, leading to over-committing, people-pleasing, and resentment.
Healthy – Flexible, balanced, and protective of personal well-being while allowing genuine connection.
So these are your guidelines for setting boundaries with any of your relationships. Relationships mean family members, friends and especially romantic relationships. It is very important that you protect yourself from any verbal or physical abuse. Also anything that just makes you feel very uncomfortable with people. You have the right to be respected and your boundaries you set with people to not be crossed. If those boundaries continue to be crossed after you have set them and continue to remind the person about what you are not comfortable talking about, and they continue to cross them, then you have every right to stop talking to that person even a family member. I have had to do this numerous times in my life. I tend to attract people that think they have the right to tell me how to live my life and don’t stop saying things to hurt me even after I have confronted them about it. I have actually never had any of those people ever apologize and stop saying or doing things to hurt me then I just stop talking to them and have never spoken to them again. Some people are just very controlling people of others. And you do not have to tolerate anyone family or friend treating you that way. Even kids have the right to be treated right by people and not hurt. And if you are over 18 you are legally an adult and noone should be making any decisions or comments about your life. Adults have the right to live their lives however they want to. As long as you are not doing anything to hurt yourself or others then you have all the freedom in the world to live your life however you want to. So do not ever be afraid of setting boundaries with people and sticking to that. It is the healthiest and best thing you can do for yourself and your family. One of the huge boundaries I set with people is my children and grandchildren are off limits! I do not tolerate anyone saying anything bad about my children and grandchildren. They lose me fast as a friend or family member if they do that. And you should also be just as protective of your children and grandchildren and yourselves. We unfortunately live in a world where there are just some very bad people that just seem to always want to hurt other people. So you have to protect yourself and your family and that even includes your sweet furbabies your pets who are your family also. Never let anyone hurt them either.
So I hope this post on boundaries helps you to set boundaries in your own lives. You will feel so much better about yourself when you can do this with people. Keep striving every day for good mental and physical health. Take good care of yourselves and your family always.